Chez Spud

Not such a big secret, but it was at the time. I met MrSpud in 2001, in the infancy of internet dating when it wasn’t as usual or acceptable as it is now. My grandfather recommended it and, encouraged by the success of Cousin Julie who met her fireman husband (takes a moment to consider Men In Uniform) on the WWW DOT, as my grandad calls it, I decided to take the plunge.

So MrSpud was my first ever ‘for real’ internet date, although there had been a lot of chattering and, frankly, flirting with others before MrSpud ‘had me at hello’ with his tales of his love for gardening and his lack of stature.

Sneaky Kiss for MrSpud

“I’m 5 ft 5 by the way” was possibly the second thing he ever told me. He just laid it out like that, and said he knew his height was a problem for some [clearly crazed] women so he wanted to be upfront about it. I love that, a little bloke with no chips on his shoulders about it. Perhaps he’s too little to bear the weight of the chips? Perhaps the chips have crushed his spirit? Perhaps he ate the chips? Did he have ketchup with the chips? Who can tell.

We met on a deceased dating site called, cringe, www.woohoo.com. Oh the shame. I met him during my one month free trial. He’s paid £30 for his full year’s membership, clearly expecting lasting love and fulfillment to take a little longer than a month. He still claims I owe him £15. He’s funny and a little bit picky like that.

I was so embarrassed that I’d met him on the internet that, at the time, I told people I’d met him in a bar. Makes me hoot that I thought that picking up randoms in bars was somehow more acceptable than picking up randoms on the WWW DOT.

Mr and Mrs Spud